As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
