Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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