you traded sex for a burrito?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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