Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
