two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
