oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I just put wine in my tea
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm both gender and math confused
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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