It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
