I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
