why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Randomize
