ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
