Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
whose ass print is on the piano?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
