I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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