seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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