I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Be still, my beating vagina.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
