So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
