Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
