I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
