Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
