I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
