I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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