I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
