Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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