Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Randomize
