called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
