i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize