There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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