i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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