i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this just has baby written all over it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
