Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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