i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
