She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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