So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
