He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
