using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize