her vagine was all disorganized.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
