Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You can't special order awesome
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
