My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
