AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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