Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
