i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
