I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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