She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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