So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize