I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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