Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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