Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
