med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
