I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
