So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My bed is full of blood and feathers
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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