maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
