I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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