I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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