Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
