their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize