just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
