A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize