Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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