one two three fourrrrnication!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
