she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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