I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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