i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
