So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
