They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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